China Is My Home

By Cais Monroe, Facilitator

“I want you to draw whatever you think of when you hear the word home."  Mr. Joshua, Community LINC's Children's Program Manager, was explaining an activity that I would never forget, "it can be your room, your state, your old home, your family... whatever that is I want you to draw it." Then he further explained his personal idea of home, “I moved around a lot when I was younger, so where ever my family is, it became home for me.”  Some children drew houses, others drew their bedrooms, and participating staff drew pictures of their homes and maps of the states where they lived. One person even drew an outline of California and the beaches there back in her home city, however, there were two particular children whose pictures sank deep into my mind.

Out of respect for their privacy, I won't mention their names I'll refer to them as K and J. Both boys full of so much character and personality; characters so very different but a walk of life with similar obstacles. I asked K, what he was drawing, so neatly and creatively, coloring away so care-free, no shame in his perspective of "home.” "It’s the hotel,” he said still coloring without ever looking up. Bringing back my oppressed memory of when my family lived briefly in an American Inn Motel I thought it would be the appropriate moment to share our stories. K told me about how much fun it was residing in the hotel, riding in the hotel elevators every morning and having his family so close to each other in one room. I shared with him that "we had two queen size beds in our room and my brother and I would jump from bed to bed trying not to touch the ground of imaginary lava.” K finally looked up, and we laughed.

J, who is six years old and incredibly smart and does a hilarious hillbilly impersonation (sorry, that's what he calls it), well he drew a picture of China. Completely puzzled and dying to know his thoughts, I asked him more about his drawing. He told me, "I'm going to live in China one day and it's going to be my home."  He named some historical figures from China and asked me if I knew any. Totally embarrassed that I didn't know any of these great legends but thoroughly impressed at the same time, I was blown away by his knowledge of a land that seems so far away from us. J was a young man focused on his future, not held back or confined to a definition of home, with an understanding that he could go where ever he wanted in life, even China.

These children understand that their circumstances do not define them and if they are ever doubtful, we are here to remind them. They have an unusual perspective on life that we as adults could adopt from time to time. But this is why Community LINC, is so important. The reality is there isn't always (if ever) an opportunity to have these type of conversations at school. At Community LINC these activities present so many opportunities to for us to share our stories with one another, be able to relate to each other and encourage our children that these situations aren't ever –lasting. I must say that they help us as well with their resilient ways of thinking which give us the chance to build on that foundation.

The Power To Give

By Children's Program Director, Josh Chittum

Christmas time at Community LINC means offices and meeting spaces are filled with shopping bags and wrapped presents and all available hands digging in to help distribute items to families. This is expected at a social service agency during the holidays. What I’m proud of most this season, however, is something we did for Christmas that might not be as expected to outside observers.

For an entire month, children and youth participated in our first ever Read-to-Give program. During this time, they raised $1 for each book or story they wrote through outside sponsorships. At the end of the program, 130 literacy activities were completed. With an extra donation on top of sponsorship, the children and youth raised $200 total.

The great part is that they were raising money for someone else - an international organization called Oxfam America that works to promote self-sufficiency in developing nations just as we work to promote self-sufficiency for families experiencing homelessness in Kansas City. Through Oxfam’s Unwrapped store, children used the funds they raised to purchase a goat and bundles of school books that will benefit children in a developing country as they too strive towards self-sufficiency.

There is power in being able to act upon the world in this manner. There is power in realizing that one does not have to identify “only” as a recipient of charity. There is power in us, those not experiencing homelessness, to view children at Community LINC as capable of giving something to the world just like any other child.

This power increases children’s resiliency, which is the primary focus of Children’s Program. It also helps children internalize the fact that they can act in the world. That realization is linked to self-sufficiency, which is central to our organizational mission. That is why this program was started and why we hope we are able to continue it in the years ahead.

Children Matter: Big and small, donations help kids of all ages

By Children’s Program Director Ryan Blake

 

Working in the non-profit world I have come to realize that funding is a constant source of concern. I see our fundraising department work tirelessly to ensure that we have enough funds to continue to operate and plan for the future.

 

This ever-present issue of funding has allowed me to see how important donations are to Community LINC and specifically the Children’s Program. In-kind donations of goods and services as well as monetary donations allow our program to meet the needs of the children we serve.

 

Our volunteers donate countless hours of their time to provide program classes and tutoring for students.  Individuals and organizations donate items that we distribute to children throughout the year.

These donations provide our children with journals to write about their experiences, toothbrushes to keep their teeth clean, and books to read and school supplies to use.  A donation of a washing machine and dryer ensure that we are able to clean all fabric items that our infants and toddlers use. A donated basketball goal provides our young male students with a physical outlet and a place where I can provide case management.  Students are able to use donated laptops to complete homework at our after school program.  Continuous donations of healthy snacks and juice allow us to provide every student with a snack when they come to tutoring.

 

In fact the majority of the materials and supplies we use in Children’s Programing are donated. I am continually amazed by the generosity of others in supporting our program. It is this generosity that allows our programs to serve the children at Community LINC.

Children Matter: A Young Man Reaching His Goals

By Children’s Program Director Ryan Blake

 

A few months ago, I began working with a teen who was a senior in high school. The young man explained to me that his family had moved several times during the year and his school attendance was very poor. He also admitted that sometimes his poor choices caused him to miss school. Although he was a very intelligent student, his grades continued to suffer. It began to look like he wasn’t going to have enough credits to graduate this year.

 

He came to me with what he thought was a great idea “I’m going to drop out and get my GED”.  We spent some time talking about the pros and cons of a high school diploma compared to a GED.  We talked about his future and what he wanted to do with his life. He left the conversation unsure if he should drop out or not.

 

Not long after our conversation, he moved with his family into permanent housing. I hadn’t heard from him in several weeks until one day he came back to Community LINC to tell me that he found out his grades were going to be good enough to graduate in May. It was one of the happiest moments I have had at Community LINC.

 

However, this is not where the story ends. Yesterday, I received a message saying that he had been accepted into a state university where he will be attending college in the Fall. I can’t wait to hear what else the future has in store for this young man.

 

Families Matter: And, they always come first

By Family Coach Frenchie Pulluaim

 

Mrs. L. C.’s family is one whose struggles made a successful exit from the program appear quite impossible.  But, one of the best things about our program is that we provide wrap around services that allow families to be successful against all odds.

 

Mom was in need of family counseling as well as assistance getting the correct services for her school age children. 

 

This may seem like something simple, but, believe me, it is not. 

 

Mrs. C. even lost good employment opportunities due to her son’s suspensions from school and the overwhelming number of meetings needed to address his behavior. 

 

Although there was an IEP (individual education plan), it was doing little to assist the child or the family.  Ryan, our Children’s Program Director, was able to get her son what he needs to be successful in school by stepping in to advocate for him, and creating some resources and services that helped the whole family. 

 

Our staff became the family and support that Mrs. C. needed to get motivated and back on track. Today, this thankful and happy family has a permanent place in a three bedroom home. 

 

Community LINC recognizes that families truly are unique, sometimes unpredictable, and always worthy of all the assistance we can give them.

Intake Matters: For his kids' sake

By Intake & Resident Specialist Holly Gardner

 

Mr. G and his two baby daughters were referred to us from City Union Mission 10/2/13. After going through the screening process, I assisted his move in to Community LINC on 10/10/13.

 

As all families do, Mr. G shared his story and the unique and personal experiences that led him to our door.  The most impactful was surviving a violent crime and healing from a recent gunshot wound. This is a long process and along the way he has lost some support from family and friends who didn’t have the resources and or time it took to be “family” for him and his two beautiful girls.

 

When he walked in the door, he sat down in my office and strongly advocated for his children.  He is seeking employment and has current job prospects.  He wants to build a new and more stable life and find extended family for his little girls. This communication came through very strongly and I have no doubt that Mr. G is on the right path.

 

Although he is just entering our program, I chose to highlight him and his daughters…the success is this very moment in time, not so much what is to be, but the gift of what he now has. This is what I saw in his eyes as I handed him his key.

 

I feel so privileged to be a small part of this organization and look forward to his journey as we continue to coach and wrap our arms around his family.

 

Volunteers Matter: A Happy Halloween at Community LINC

By Volunteer Coordinator Kate Nevins

 

This year for Halloween, Church of the Resurrection Downtown brought a “trunk or treat” to Community LINC’s families.  

 
Members of the church dressed up in costume, decorated their cars and came to Community LINC to pass candy out of their trunks.

 

Our kids had so much fun!

 

It’s not always easy for the families we serve to celebrate and enjoy the holidays as they are transitioning out of homelessness and poverty. That is why we need volunteers to help us. Together, we can foster an environment where children are able to play like other children and families can pause and enjoy time with their families, which is what the holidays are all about.

 

Thanks to Church of the Resurrection for making Halloween such a success!

 

Children Matter: A New Card to Play

By Children’s Program Director Ryan Blake

 

The first couple times I met with Marcus, I could see in his eyes that he was angry. Our conversations usually consisted of how he was arguing with his family, upset about where he lived, mad at other kids, or frustrated at school. Whatever the situation was that day, he was unequipped to control his emotions. Sometimes he would get so upset that he was unable to verbalize how he felt or what went wrong. Marcus started the 4th grade this year and has already been suspended 3 times for anger related incidents.

 

We began working one-on-one with Marcus on program nights. We focused his lessons on anger management, regulation of emotions, and controlling impulses. Marcus has been incredibly receptive to our classes. He relates the material to situations in his life and reflects on how his decisions affect those around him. He has never missed a class.

 

Last night I spoke with Marcus after class. He told me he read a book called When Sophie Gets Angry..Really, Really Angry (by Molly Bang). He described the story to me and explained that Sophie went outside and looked at the water to calm down. I asked what he does to calm down. He told me he sits on the front porch and watches cars when he gets really worked up. I asked him what if he couldn’t go outside because he was in the middle of a math lesson at school. He told me “your answer is to get a drink of water, take deep breaths, or tell the teacher what is going on. My answer is usually to yell at whoever is bothering me or make them stop.” I asked him what one will keep you in school. He pointed to me and said “I know, I will try.”

 

I know that Marcus will probably continue to have anger problems at school. But I think we both feel better knowing that he doesn’t have to yell or push someone. He now has another card to play.

Children Matter: Invest in the parents to help the child

By Ryan Blake, Children’s Program Director

Single parent families with young children are among the fastest growing among the homeless populations in the United States. This statistic is consistent with the makeup of many of the families we serve at Community LINC.

The infants and toddlers from these families are at an extreme risk for developmental delay or deviations.  Nationally, an alarming 75 percent of homeless children under the age of 5 have a major developmental delay.  Over half of homeless preschool children score below the first percentile in receptive verbal functioning.  Of these children, 38 percent exhibit emotional and behavioral problems. Chances are these children will continue to struggle throughout their academic career.

Why do these young children struggle so much?

The circumstances homeless families go through challenges healthy infant development and relationships. Parents dealing with domestic violence, mental disorders, substance abuse, and housing insecurity are often unable to recognize and respond to the needs of their young child. Also, young parents experiencing trauma often lack the necessary parenting skills and support they need to form a secure attachments with their child.

The stressful experiences associated with homelessness are toxic to young children as well.  According to the ACE study (Adverse Childhood Experiences); the amount of stress early in a child’s life is a reliable predictor of health and behavior problems later in their adolescent and adult life. These problems include suicide attempts, adolescent pregnancy, heart disease, alcoholism, and violence with their partners. But there is hope.  

A secure attachment with an adult caregiver can act as a buffer from environmental stress and the negative outcomes and the child. A consistent, nurturing relationship serves as a shield from these events which allow children to develop normally. 

One of the key parenting skills that homeless parents often lack is simply how to talk with their child. 

The research  conducted by Betty Hart and Todd Risley of University of Kansas found some shocking differences in the way parents communicate with young children. Their research showed that parents of children in poverty say about 616 words per hour. Children of a working class family experience 1251 words per hour, and lastly, a child from a more affluent professional family hear 2153 words per hour with a much more extensive vocabulary. 

By age 4 the average child in poverty might have 13 million fewer words of cumulative experience than the average child in a working-class family. The differences in the amount of speech and vocabulary attainment affect their brain development. This is the one of the reasons why I see many children who are 4 and 5 years old who can’t speak or have severe speech delays. These children are essentially starting school way behind their peers.

Furthermore, to ensure young children experiencing homelessness are receiving the services they need, it is essential for them to be enrolled with a high-quality early childhood education. The problem is, it’s tremendously expensive.  

According to the U.S. Department of Education, the annual average cost for an infant in center-based child care is fourteen hundred dollars more than the average annual in-state tuition at a 4-year university. 

But what about free head start programs for low-income families? For the entire state of Missouri there are only 2,242 funded slots for Early Head Start and only 15,638 funded slots for Head Start Preschool. This means that only 2 percent of eligible infants and toddlers are able to secure spots at Early Head Start Programs. 

Providing these children with high-quality early childhood interventions are vital for them to succeed later in education. Without them, these at-risk children are 25 % more likely to drop out of school, 40 percent more likely to become a teen parent, 50 percent more likely to be placed in special education, 60 percent more likely to never attend college, and 70 percent more likely to be arrested for a violent crime.

For young children who are homeless the problems are many. The good news is there is hope. 

Providing their parents with the skills they need to interact, respond, and to read with their young children supports a healthy attachment that will shield the negative environmental stresses. Also, providing early childhood interventions and referrals helps to ensure that children will start school with the developmental skills they need to be successful. 

"So that homeless children will be successful now and the rest of their lives"

Last month, I blogged about some of the things homelessness does to a child. The impact is undeniable, but there is good news, too.

First, the bad news.

As our Children’s Program Director wrote, “Homelessness influences every aspect of a child’s life from the moment they are born all the way into adulthood.”

“Homeless children are often confronted with stressful situations and traumatic events that lead to severe emotional distress which is evident in their emotional and behavioral development.”

“Chronic stress has such a tremendous impact on the anatomy of a child’s brain because the younger a person is, the more malleable their brain is. These changes harmfully affect functions like self-regulation and impulse control, goal oriented behaviors, the ability to plan, and to persevere. These character traits aren’t an indication of IQ, but they are a better determinate of success in adulthood.”

Now for the good news.

“Unlike IQ, these character traits are learnable, and the outcome is that students do better academically.”  And, that is the purpose of our Children’s Program.

Again, from our Children’s Program Director, “We decrease the tremendous negative impact that poverty and homelessness have on a child’s life. We give children hope for their future by providing them with the skills and resources they need to be successful now and for the rest of their lives. What I personally try to do for our kids is to help them become caring ethical decision makers. So no matter what is thrown their way, they know the right way to deal with it.”

He shared one story of the impact on one child. “We were able to work a lot with this particular student because she spent the days she was suspended from school with us.”

“One of our major topics that we discuss with our students is anger management and impulse control. Many of our students struggle with understanding how their actions now will have negative consequences later. This was the case for one of our previous 7^th graders named Tina. Tina attends a very rough school and is picked on a lot because of her height. She has shared stories with me about being spit on, made fun of, and beaten up. Tina’s grades have suffered tremendously because she has been suspended many times for fighting at school. The last conversation we had with Tina she told us a story about an altercation with several girls after school.”

“She explained when the bullying started she wanted to fight them but thought about the advice she received here. She said she knew it would just lead to another school suspension and she was able to walk away from the confrontation.”

“I think she felt empowered knowing that she now has a choice of how to react (she always thought fighting was the only option), and proud of herself knowing that she was able walk away. She has also told me that she knows her younger sisters look up to her and that she wants to be a better example for them.”

More on Fragile Families and homelessness

The Institute for Children, Poverty & Homelessness released their second brief from the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study not long ago. Again they are looking at the characteristics that make homeless families different from families that are poor, but do not become homeless. This time they looked at the mother’s education as a factor.

“Compared to mothers who experienced homelessness or were at risk of homelessness, stably housed mothers are both more likely to have attained a high school diploma and less likely to have pursued further schooling.” Who would have guessed it. We always assume that more education will improve your job prospects.

So, what is really happening?

The key is the type of advanced education being pursued. Both the costs and benefits of programs can vary significantly by program type. High cost, vocational or career programs rather than college may create more instability than opportunity. “For profit” colleges have been criticized for their recruiting practices, low graduation rates and poor career placement. So the mother who thinks she’s making life better for her children by enrolling in some programs often ends up a dropout, saddled with significant debt, and no better employment prospects than before.

How sad is that.

What is it like for the moms?

Since Mother’s Day is this Sunday, I started thinking about all of the mothers, especially the single mothers, who are sliding into homelessness now.

A former co-worker used to call mothers and children the invisible homeless. You don’t see them pushing a shopping cart or sleeping out in the open on park benches or under bridges where their children are vulnerable. They stay with family or friends until they’re no longer welcome. Then they sleep in cars and go to shelters.

By the time a mom moves into our transitional housing, she has lost a lot of connections - with family, friends and even service providers. Those supportive kinds of relationships are often tied to the neighborhood. It’s really difficult to maintain the crucial ties that took time to form and anchored her children’s lives.

Most of our moms feel like they have failed their children. You see it in the flat affect on so many faces when they move in.

Then, they begin to feel like their kids are safe and life is stabilizing. Their coaches and counselors connect them with services for their kids. They go to lifeskills classes and start working with a budgeter. They begin to create new relationships when they make friends with other moms who are struggling with the same experience.

They do their kids proud. 47 moms moved their children into a home they bought when they graduated from the program. Myeshia got her GED and is enrolled in college. Cindy is getting her MBA. Stephanie is going to law school next fall.

And, their kids have done them proud. Jermaine is the first college graduate in his family. Stephen is finishing his freshman year in college. Julius had his choice of colleges, but is joining his big brother Stephen. Tiffany is one of the speakers at her high school graduation and someday wants to be an attorney and eventually a judge.

Happy Mothers Day to all of the wonderful mothers who have passed through our doors. To all of the moms facing homelessness now, hold on to the hope. To quote Jermaine, “Where you are, isn’t where you’re going to be.”

What Happens to the Kids When a Family Becomes Homeless? Part 2

There is a new study published in American Journal of Orthopsychiatry that helps capture what homelessness does to the emotional well-being of children. The study points out that being homeless doesn’t always have a negative impact on a child’s well-being. However, homeless children are at a higher risk because of their experiences. Like other low-income children they have more exposure to violence, and there are stresses specifically related to being homeless (especially in a shelter setting).

There are a lot of negative consequences for children: feelings of stigma, shame, instability, loss (of homes, friends, and possessions), interpersonal abuse, crime victimization and abject poverty.

When there is nothing to counterbalance those experiences, young, homeless children tend to have more depressive, anxious feelings.

It’s reassuring to realize that there are factors that can counterbalance the experience. “Social or family involvement, secure attachments, and positive self-esteem positively affect mental and physical health, and decrease substance use and self-harming behaviors.”

We are very fortunate to have partnerships with two other agencies that make it possible for us to give our families the tools to help the children. Because of those partnerships, we can give children mental health therapy when they need it, and give our parents new tools to become better parents for their children.

The State of Missouri’s Children’s Trust Fund has funded our Children’s Program, including play therapy for the last two years. Just this year, we entered into a partnership with The Children’s Place. They do mental wellness assessments of our youngsters (ages 2-8), therapy for those who need it, and teach parenting classes for the adults.

One of their first comments to me was how excited they were to work with a group of engaged and receptive parents. That’s probably another indicator that the adults who choose to work through our program make a serious commitment when they become residents. They want to change their lives and the prospects for their children. And, with our partners, we’re going to help them try.

- Laura Gray