Families Matter: Putting her children first

By Frenchie Pulluaim, Family Coach

One of our past residents stopped by the office to say hello and thank Community LINC for all of the assistance and support we gave her family.  Shauna and her 3 sons found a permanent home back in 2011.

Shauna came to us with a lot of barriers. She had few skills and fewer resources. She was under employed and lived with family in between short stays in her own apartment. Although she worked, it wasn’t enough to afford housing and provide for her boys. 

Shauna was a victim of generational drug abuse. She was living with her mom and grandma who are both substance abusers. Their lifestyle and influence contributed to Shauna’s lack of motivation and unwillingness to address issues that were keeping her from becoming self-sufficient. 

Entering this program gave Shauna and her boys stability, and the support system to break a generational cycle. 

She was frustrated and it took her a while, but she found a part time job with the KC School district that eventually became full time.  Shauna paid $3031.33 in past debt and left the program with a savings of $1,212.86.  When she came to visit, she talked about continuing to rely on the budgeting skills she gained while in this program.

Today she is assistant manager in food Service at one of the public schools. She still needs a subsidy to provide a home for her boys, so her Section 8 voucher helps her afford a 4 bedroom home here in the inner city.  She also got all of her children situated in school and in programs they need to be successful.

Shauna calls back periodically with family issues - things that once would have stopped her in her tracks. But, today she is able to say no to her family and think about her children first.  She no longer feels the guilty for not providing for adult family members who continue their chaotic lives. 

I believe that Shauna succeeded because there was something inside her that wanted to succeed.  Lifestyle was the problem.

She was an enabler for her dysfunctional family because she couldn’t say no.  She no longer feels guilty, because she recognizes that her family didn’t cause her to become homeless, her inability to say no to them did. 

Now she understands that she is not responsible for solving her family’s problems. And, she is armed with resources (United Way 211), that they can use to address their own problems, if they choose.  She knows that she is in control of her life and the lives of her children. She has gained the skills to advocate for her family. She has learned that her primary responsibility is to her boys, and her extended family will change in their own time.