Monday, June 9, 2014

Children Matter: Relationships and Assumptions

By Children’s Program Director Ryan Blake

A core belief that we have with the Children’s Program is that children won’t care how much we know until they know how much we care. As our families transition from Community Linc to their own housing so fast we are constantly trying to build relationships with the children that attend our program classes. Over the last two years I have seen how assumptions can destroy these relationships.

I recently spoke with a young man about why he is failing his language arts class. I told him I have seen him read and write how could he be failing? He explained to me that when he moved to his school they placed him in English as a Second Language class because he looked Mexican. When he finally got transferred to the right English class he thought “why should I try? They don’t even think I speak English”.

Last month I worked with a very intelligent high school student who changed schools several times due to her chronic homelessness. She described how she was always placed in classes that were too easy for her. At each school she had to request advanced placement classes and take tests to prove she deserved to be in them.  She told me she wished they didn’t make assumptions about her ability based on the way she looked or the clothes she wore.

Not long ago we had new cameras installed all over our campus. When I heard that a young man had vandalized one of the cameras I thought I knew for sure who had done it. I approached the young man and falsely accused him based on his past criminal history.  When I found out it wasn’t him, he told me he wished I wouldn’t have guessed it was him because of his background. I was never able to fully repair this relationship.

These stories help me to remember how damaging assumptions can be to the relationships we are trying to form with the children at Community Linc. We always want the children who attend program to feel accepted and respected. On Thursday a young man made me smile when he told me that he liked coming to program because it was a place where he could be himself and he could have fun with his teachers.

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