The Positive Impact of Social Connections for Parents

Submitted by Griselda Williams, Mental Wellness Manager

Recently, I wrote a blog about our relationship with the Children’s Trust Fund (CTF), Missouri’s Foundation for Child Abuse Prevention. CTF awarded Community LINC a grant to fund mental wellness services for children and youth from ages 6-17. Mental wellness services are provided by our Child Therapist and can include individual therapy and socialization and coping skills group.  While children and youth receive services, we also provide support services to parents based on the CTF model. Several of our staff participated in a conference and on-line training supported by the CTF with a focus on “Building Protective Factors to Strengthen Families." Topics shared throughout the training included the following protective factors:

• Concrete support for parents in times of need
• Parent Resilience
• Social Connections
• Social and Emotional Competence
• Knowledge of Parenting and Child Development

Recently, in our parents’ Healthy Lifestyles group, I observed the impact that Social Connections can have for our parents. Clare Hollander, of the Kansas City Public Library, spoke to our parents on Children’s Literacy and provided books for the children.  Clare discussed the importance of exposing children of all ages to books. I observed the reactions and listened to the input of several of the program participants.  Initially, Anita seemed a bit hesitant to take books for her children. She also shared that, due to her work schedule, she had little time to read to her young children. As another parent, Dena shared how she exposes her 2-year-old son to words and books; Anita asked how she could start reading to her children. The more Dena shared the benefits of exposing her son to books, the more Anita began to see how she could include reading to her children in their bedtime routine. As Dena shared that her son had a library card and how he enjoys going to the library, Anita began to discuss taking her children to the public library. Dena also shared that more parents need to be involved in their children’s schools and Anita then asked how to do this. Dena shared how she stays connected to her son’s school, and by the end of the group meeting, Anita asked Clare Hollander for books for her children. It was evident to me that Social Connections with other parents provided a great support and influence for Anita, more than my words as the group facilitator and our guest librarian could provide.  

Art as a Tool for Healing

By Griselda Williams, Manager Mental Wellness Services

For many years, art has been used as a tool to promote healing with various groups of people. Art is used with persons with Alzheimer’s’ disease and other health issues. There are art programs in the adult and juvenile criminal justice systems. Art has been used in therapy with persons challenged with mental health diagnoses and persons with disabilities. Art is used in other regions of the United States, as well as the world by organizations positively impacting persons traumatized by earthquakes, war, floods, tornadoes and other traumatic events.

According to Gretchen Miller, Registered Board Certified Art Therapist, “Art expression is a powerful way to safely contain and create separation from the terrifying experience of trauma without the necessity of or reliance on verbal language to share ones story”. This creative tool “can become a visual voice that can help retrieve content from lower-functioning parts of the brain where traumatic experiences live without words and can transform into drawings on paper, molded into clay, painted onto a canvas and more”. Art experiences “safely gives voice to and makes a survivor’s experience of emotions, thoughts and memories visible when words are insufficient.”

I recently attended the Housing First Partners conference in Los Angeles, California, where persons who had experienced homelessness used art as a tool for healing. Homelessness is considered a traumatic event so it would stand to reason that art would benefit persons with this experience. Men and women that participated in the Skid Row Homeless Support Program in downtown Los Angeles made art items to sell and earn income at the Housing First Partners conference. People who lived homeless experiences were at the conference, share the use of art, poetry and music to tell their stories and some had published their work. These individuals shared their publications and work and how participating in art therapy helped them heal and increase their self-esteem and self-worth. Others shared how being able to make art helped them feel there was something they did well, something they had control over and something that was theirs alone that no one could take from them. One man shared that using poetry to express how he felt inside was a positive way of getting all of the negative and fearful feelings out in a harmless way versus in an angry or self-destructive way.

As part of our program group meetings at Community LINC, I often offer artful experiences with our program participants. Recently, I offered old keys, a painted canvas and other items for a collage. The collage title for each participant was to be called, “The Key To My……”   Each participant was asked to fill the blank canvas with pictures, words and symbols reflecting on the title. When the women’s group members finished their collages they shared hopes, dreams, goals, regrets and lessons learned through their collages. They were able to imagine a new life and depict this in their collages which in turn helped them to identify their goals and therefore steps needed to reach the goals.

We often use ‘art as a tool for healing’ experiences in our program groups often. Each time, I hear our residents say how helpful the experience was for increasing their awareness and insight, as well as how it helped them connect to their hopes and dreams. Pictures of some of the finished collages were posted on our Facebook because the group members felt proud of what they produced and they wanted to share them with others. 

An underappreciated partner in the struggle against homelessness

By CEO/Executive Director Laura Gray

Most of what you read about poverty and homelessness doesn’t focus on thankfulness. Because there are still homeless people, everything that has been done is often dismissed as “not enough”. But, since it’s Thanksgiving, I wanted to feel thankful. I was looking for an inspirational idea when I re-read a letter prepared for Senator Blunt encouraging support for McKinney-Vento funding.

We’re just one organization serving homeless families, but Community LINC ended homelessness for 76% of the families (236 people, 154 of whom were children) served in the first 10 months of 2014. If the past is any predictor of the future, 80% will not become homeless again. The cumulative impact of the “hand up” we gave is a $4 million increase in taxable income and $1 million less in public assistance for the families served over just the last seven years.

We could not have provided the “hand up” that ended homelessness for these parents and their children without funding from McKinney-Vento.

Also because of McKinney-Vento funding, we expanded our capacity to serve more families. Using the business model HUD promotes to rapidly re-house homeless families, over the last two years we have more than doubled the number of people who exit homelessness as a result of our program.

I’m grateful to all of the legislators on both sides of the aisle who have voted for funding to help end homelessness. And, I’m hopeful that they will continue to fund efforts to put an end to this insidious problem.

Programs Matter: "Do not hide your light for fear of what others may think of you. Let it shine and be a reflection of what is possible."

By Family Coach Frenchie Pulluaim

I am currently working with a family that is struggling to accept that they are living in a homeless community.  They lost their housing due to company downsizing and income that went from a working salary to unemployment checks.  They did not change their lifestyle, although their income changed. They felt finding employment would be fast and they would be back on their feet. 

Well, finding employment did not come easy, or fast. 

The couple quickly began to fall behind on bills, which caused to them to max out credit cards, family and friends. Some families do not make it through these type of struggles. 

  

This family found themselves in a situation that was life changing. The time came to stop worrying about what people would think and accept that they were broke and in need of services to survive this crisis.

The family now  looks at their problems and lives through different eyes. They are budgeting and becoming accountable for managing their money, while realizing this is what you do whether you have a lot of money, or very little.

They are learning that Pride comes before the fall, that there is nothing wrong with admitting that your plans are not working out. It is even OK to allow someone to assist you in problem solving. 

Community LINC provided the wraparound services that this family needed to get back on track and feel good about themselves. 

Most working, independent families do not see programs as something they can use or need because they have been successful. They feel ashamed and fear what people may say about them. 

Community LINC serves families from all walks of life, our mission is to assist families to be successful and move forward with their lives.

Program Matters: Catch 22

By Senior Director of Programs and Operations Jeannine Short

Ensuing from HUD’s overarching objective to eradicate homelessness is the goal of permanently housing those most vulnerable to becoming homeless. This often means housing (or attempting to house) persons with significant mental health and/or substance abuse issues.  While the effort is certainly noble, it seems that the issues that plague this population have become the “elephant in the room”.

Despite the best efforts of HUD-funded agencies to meet HUD’s expectations, the reality is that there will be failures that can negatively impact funding.

The mandate to serve only the most vulnerable population (which implies significant if not insurmountable challenges), and HUD’s expectation to consistently meet or exceed outcomes is in every way a catch 22.

Does an agency perhaps  “cream”  in an effort to meet these expectations? Or, does an agency truly embrace the “most vulnerable” objective and risk the loss of funding?

Mental Health Matters: Resiliency

By Director of Mental Health Services Griselda Williams

Resiliency--Webster’s dictionary lists the definition for resiliency as “the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens” and “the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.” 

I have been reading a social work book; Resiliency: An Integrated Approach to Practice, Policy and Research, Edited by Roberta R. Greene—boring title I know,  but very informative and supportive of those in the midst of difficult times and their ability to persevere. In this book there are several definitions discussed about what resiliency really means. One of the definitions stated, “Resilience usually is used to describe individuals who adapt to extraordinary circumstances, achieving positive and unexpected outcomes in the face of adversity.” 

The big difference that I see between Webster’s definition and those discussed in this book, people who have studied the human experience, is the recognition that resiliency is defined by how one manages during adversity versus Webster’s definition that focuses on how one bounces back after adversity. 

Not long ago, I came in contact with a person that clearly was able to “adapt to extraordinary circumstances, achieving positive and unexpected outcomes in the face of adversity” as that individual was homeless and living in a car with family members. As this individual shared efforts to adapt their living situation so their family members would be able to have a shower, have a hot meal, do homework and be able to run and play, like other’ families who have a stable place to live, I was moved tremendously. I thought if this individual can do this in the face of so much adversity what would they be able to do should they have a stable place to live for themselves and their family members. 

This individual’s story reminded me of the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness, a 2006 American biographical drama film based on Chris Gardner's nearly one-year struggle with homelessness. Chris Gardner and his young son, being homeless, were forced at one point to stay in a restroom at a subway station and they had to carry all of their possessions in cast off shopping bags. Yet, Mr. Gardner kept his son in school, kept him fed, showed him love and was able to secure employment. 

Sometime later, Chris Gardner went on to form his own multi-million dollar brokerage firm. 

During an interview with Mr. Gardner and his son, Christopher on the Oprah Winfrey show, Christopher (then in his 30’s) shared that he was not aware that he and his father were homeless. He shared being aware that he and his father moved around a lot, but he had no idea they would have been identified as “homeless”.  

This is another great example of resiliency, like the individual I met some time ago. That individual and their family have recently became residents at Community LINC. I think we have another Chris Gardner in our midst.

Aftercare Matters: Rebuilding after the storm

By Aftercare Case Manager Johnae Sawyer

Working with families in our Aftercare program has truly been a humbling experience. The stories heard from families about how they became homeless are eye opening. Many families hit that one bump in the road and are unable to stabilize their finances. Unfortunately they end up in a homeless shelter with their children, feeling as if they have hit rock bottom.

The program offered here at Community LINC helps families bounce back and feel as if they have a support system that cares about their journey to become self-sufficient. The smiles that replace the tears are heart-warming and encouraging. The families that transition from our campus into their own homes and our Aftercare program feel a safety net that they would not have if traveling this journey alone. They are excited that Community LINC is now a part of their support system.

Several Aftercare participants are striving to use the tools and skills learned while in the program here at Community LINC. They know that if they continue to work hard, budget, and build a savings, they will weather their next financial storm should one arise.

Programs Matter: Walking against the Wind

By Interim Case Manager Frenchie Pulluaim, MSW

Walking against the wind must be how some of our families feel as they struggle to recognize the negative behaviors that are hindering them. Most of our families want to create positive change in their lives, but when it requires money it is virtually impossible. 

For example, many of our families have arrest records for driving unregistered vehicles, traffic tickets, expired identification , or child support arrears.  These may seem easy to fix, but imagine trying to do so while earning $7.30 hour with 3 children and living expenses.  Another example is the lasting impact of years-old minor drug charges—some as minor as possession of a single marijuana cigarette—that resulted in a felony. Although the charges occurred when the person, now in  his 50’s, was much younger, this one mistake can affect the family for the rest of their lives.

We all make mistakes every now and then, but having resiliency, support, and access to resources make it easier for these families to walk against the wind.  It is then that they can imagine and work toward a life of stability for themselves and their families.

Volunteers Matter: Value of Consistency

By Facilities Supervisor Michael Kizzee

One of my favorite spiritual writers wrote that “consistency” is the virtue lacking most with modern Americans.  The volunteer Floyd Larson is definitely the exception.  Floyd has volunteered at Community LINC for around 15 years.  I say “around” on account he has been telling me for at least 3 years that he has volunteered for around 10 years.

Floyd started with a group of men from his church, who came every week to volunteer.  When I started at Community LINC, some of these men had passed away others had to stop coming on account of medical issues; only Floyd remained.  

Floyd still faithfully comes every Wed. at 9:00 a.m. sharp.  If Floyd is going to be late or out of town he calls to let me know, although I tell him it is unnecessary.  Floyd has been a constant in an ever changing organization and environment.  As our organization has flexed and grown, he has been asked to build walls only later to have been asked to tear them down again.  Never with complaint, never with resentment have I seen him.  Although he can’t say the same of me, I’m sure.

When we are working on construction projects many times I will point Floyd out to our families and tell them, “that man has consistently volunteered here for almost 15 years.”  When they see his age and hard work they are astonished.  This type of consistency is a model not only for our families but to all of us lacking such virtue.  Floyd helps me to keep going-on with this work when I feel overwhelmed and lost with the continual need.

Therapy Matters: Mental Health Matters

By Director of Mental Health Services Griselda Williams

As I read what Ms. Frenchie Pulluaim wrote about the many layers of pain, challenges and hurdles our families have endured and must try to move past to move into permanent housing, I thought about the mental health aspects that are connected to those “broken hearts”.  She wrote about “matters of the heart” being complicated and how they can lead to physical and medical issues. 

I see so often what Ms. Frenchie wrote about as it relates to mental health challenges. Those mental health challenges can work against the goals, hopes and dreams that our families have and the efforts those of us in the helping field extend to them. 

A current topic of discussion in mental health is depression, given the media focus on Robin Williams and other well-known people who struggle with this issue. While much of the media focus is on the famous we on the mental wellness team plan to focus on our families and the impact that depression has on them. 

We have planned upcoming program group topics on the subject as we often see that beginning this time of year through the end of the year depression increases greatly. 

As depression increases so does those who are so broken hearted often contemplate taking their own lives. Given all that our families have endured it is important to give them an opportunity to openly discuss the impact of depression as well as provide them resources for support and decrease the stigma related to seeking help for mental health challenges. 

Jobs Matter: A Refresing Sight

By Employment Coach Connie Taylor 

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported in June that the total nonfarm employment for the Kansas City, Mo.-Kan., Metropolitan Statistical Area stood at 1,017,000 in May 2014, up 1,900 or 0.2 percent, from May 2013.  This is great news for the participants of our job readiness program at Community LINC. 

More than 50% of our families are unemployed upon arrival.

It was refreshing a few days ago to see one of our aftercare participants still employed 10 months after she secured a job while living at Community LINC.  She had limited opportunities due to her prior criminal record. She was terminated for her participation in a public disturbance on her last job and convicted of assault. 

Although, it was not a pretty picture, we had to encourage her to continue to press forward.  She located a company that needed her ability to speak Spanish and applied for the position. She explained her poor choices and expressed regret and was afforded another chance at employment. She has proven herself to be trustworthy again and is looking forward to promotion to management one day.

Intake Matters: Wake-up call

By Intake and Resident specialist Holly Gardner

Most of the time I see our families eager to job search, have a paycheck again and work with our budgeters.  These are things that can be measured as they reach their goals. Almost always in the screening process money management comes up and is a common thread we can all relate to.  But sometimes it is health and reconnecting with doctors and other health professionals that takes a front seat after a family moves in from shelter as it was with Ms J.

When she reached out to us she shared she had no one to talk to, share with, ask advice from.  She had a serious illness and had not been able to let it fully sink in how it was going to impact her or her daughter.

Since moving in she has been given referrals and has followed up with doctors, counselors and others who specialize with people who are transitioning in to a new, different and for most a scary reality especially if family ties are broken. Since moving in and working with staff we have seen Ms J have a painful and very personal wake-up call and have seen her take her routine and health more seriously and try to use her energy wisely. 

She may not obtain employment  and move out in a more traditional way but she will have a community of health professionals, case managers and the like supporting and encouraging her. She moved in with little to no family support but will move out with a new family, a growing network of people who will be there on her darker days and remind her she is not alone.

Yes, sometimes our families get more productive and shine in ways they didn’t think they could and sometimes the light is even brighter for those whose journey is harder to measure.

Children Matter: New Role, Same Mission

By Children’s Program Coordinator Josh Chittum

Nearly one month ago, I bid a difficult goodbye to my class of 3rd graders for the summer knowing I wouldn’t see them in the hallway on their first day of 4th grade. For a variety of reasons I had decided to leave the teaching profession, at least for the time being

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Because of the arbitrary privileges granted to me in life, I knew I could walk away from employment and everything would most likely turn out okay. That sentiment is startling to think about when juxtaposed with the situations so many of our families find themselves in at Community LINC.

The frenetic pace of teaching didn’t leave me with sufficient space or time to ruminate and meditate on those Big Questions, such as why I have a plethora of privileges amidst so many injustices in our world, nation, and city. And while the transition from the classroom to my new position has hurled me through the air with the speed of a cosmic event, I’ve found myself 10,000 feet in the air studying and obsessing over my position in life

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Among such an abundance to be fortunate and thankful for is the fact that I now find myself at an organization whose ideals and values so closely align with my own. Three of those shared values I’d like to highlight with the space I have left. (And no, I was not offered a signing bonus to say these things in my first blog post.)

One basic shared value - of monumental importance - is the commitment to justice that Community LINC carries out every day. While I am certainly interested in philosophizing and analyzing abstract arguments, this isn’t a theoretical or academic notion of justice. This is the everyday, face-to-face, sometimes exhausting struggle that hundreds of families take with us each year. While I did walk away from the traditional classroom, I did not, nor will I ever, walk away from this march and I am thrilled to join a team that has walked farther, and harder, and probably smarter than I have because I will learn so much from them and we will make a difference as a team.

Second, the staff here clearly values the people staying on our campus as individuals. I don’t hear generic client terminology or talk of faceless data points and numbers. I hear the names and stories and hopes and dreams of the men, and the women, and the children completing our program. I hear words to empower the individual, messages to encourage folks to lead the way to their individual goals and aspirations. We will be right behind them, but not in front, not dictating their path. And just as important, I see institutional value placed on staff as well - value placed on our time, our ideas, and our mental well-being.

And finally, Community LINC provides a vehicle for positive relationship building. There are many reasons humans are the most successful species on earth, but one reason is that we don’t find solitary shelter underneath sea-shells. We cooperate with, we learn from, and fellowship to each other. This is one reason why we have youth in Aftercare that literally walk a mile from their new home just to come to program night and maintain relationships with mentors, teachers, and friends.

Without allowing for strong relationships and valuing individuals, the World of Justice we are trying to build simply won’t happen. Thank you Community LINC for letting me be a part. 

Employment Matters: Tenacity and Hard Work Pays Off

By Employment Services Job Coach Constance Taylor

When my current participant and her family entered our program, she had faith that she would find another job. She knew it would require a lot of hard work and time.

At least seven years ago, she divorced her children’s father and decided to focus on raising her young children using child support knowing she couldn’t find a job that would pay enough to cover child care. They moved into a single dwelling with several other adult family members and pooled their resources.

After the death of two of those family members, the pool of funds decreased drastically. They were unable to pay their rent on time and were evicted.

It was time to become self-sufficient.

She arrived in the employment lab each day before 9:00 AM, which demonstrated her eagerness and desire to secure employment. We created a resume and set up profiles on several job sights. Although, she had no computer skills and very little experience,  her strong interpersonal and communication skills were a good fit for the retail industry. 

Finally, I told her, I thought it was time to “hit the street” as we call it in the lab. It took one day of applying at various retail stores and she received a phone call from a small neighborhood merchant who was willing to give her a chance.

She secured employment in less than one month of her search because of her sincere tenacity and hard work. She is excited about the opportunities in her future.  

There isn't enough affordable housing

By CEO/Executive Director Laura Gray

I read a lot of studies that tell us there isn’t enough affordable rental housing in the U.S. One such report from The Joint Center for Housing Studies at Harvard - The State of the Nation’s Housing – was released last Thursday.

The report states that in 2012 nearly 41 million households paid more than 30% of their income for housing. Nearly half of all renters are considered housing burdened, meaning they pay more than 50% of their income for housing. Four out of five people who made less than $15,000 per year (roughly equal to full time work at minimum wage) paid more than 30% of their income for housing and two thirds paid more than 50%.

Logic tells us that a family spending more than 50% of their income on housing have less to spend on food and healthcare. The report confirms it.

What really caught my eye was a blog posting on the Urban Institute’s MetroTrends blog back on November 18, 2013. Erika Poethig posted that “The federal resources subsidizing homeownership far exceed those dedicated to subsidizing rental housing for America’s lowest income citizens. All the subsidies for homeownership – the mortgage interest deduction, the deduction for property taxes, and the housing value that is not taxable – add up to about $300 billion annually. Compare this to the $37.4 billion the US Department of Housing and Urban Development spends on rental housing assistance. Throw in the tax subsidies for developers of affordable housing, which is about $8 billion a year, and there is still room for improvement.”

Don’t get me wrong. I take all of the deductions associated with owning a home. But, something feels wrong about so little assistance going to help ensure that children in extremely low income families have a home.

Intake Matters: Saying "Yes"

By Intake & Resident Specialist Holly Gardner

There are times during the screening process when I can see great potential for a family to move forward, make a plan and meet their goals.  There are times when I can see this in spite of what may seem like insurmountable challenges, when the family has a difficult time seeing this for themselves. This was the case when we screened Ms J.

Ms J is a young, single mom with a healthy beautiful little girl almost school age.  She shared with me that she really felt lost, unsupported and scared of what her future was going to hold, especially for her daughter.   Her first priority was a safe place to sleep and care for her daughter and she wanted to pursue a job to have income again. This was her goal in spite of great fatigue and declining health.

Her major barrier was health.  Although diagnosed with serious illness years ago, she had not faced the reality this illness was bringing in to her young life and to the people her life touched.  She didn’t have the ability to cope or to reach out for the professional help she was going to need to make informed decisions. Her family was toxic.  She really was lost.

I wasn’t sure how our program would impact her, but I could envision our staff providing the much needed resources and referrals to our community. We could encourage her and hopefully start filling those voids.  This is what we have done.

This young mom has decided to apply for disability, which she did not know she qualified for.  She is opening herself up to more information, she is beginning to lift the veil and deal with the reality that she may not be in her daughter’s life for as long as most moms.  As difficult as they are, she is taking her next steps.

Ms J’s housing journey is unique. My hopes are that she can take her next steps from here with more courage and information than she had when she came. She asked us to give her a safe place for her daughter’s sake, a place where she could make a meal for herself again, a place she could ask for advice, a place where she could calm down the turmoil around her.

 

I’m happy to say we said yes.

Children Matter: "A place to call my own"

By Child Therapist Tonesia Woods

Sherri is a 12-year old child in a family of four who relocated to Community LINC after moving from various homes within the past year. 

During her final counseling session, I asked “What is one thing that you desire in life?” She stated “ I just want to be in a stable home, in a place that I can call my own. I don’t want to move anymore…” During that final session we worked on saying good-bye, seeking peace with her current transition, and learning to recognize the good in all things. 

She quickly identified “friendships” as her highlight of moving to different places. She was also able to identify the good in her hardships by stating to me “ The hard times I go thru with my family, actually brings us closer together!”  

While she was at Community LINC, I quickly observed the gift of resiliency that the client possessed! She always participated in group, displayed leadership behaviors while in programming, and maintained a positive attitude throughout her time here at Community LINC.

Therapy Matters: "I Found My Way".

By Therapist David Simpson

When I first met with this client, I found him deeply saddened and depressed. He had lost very significant relationships, his employment, and home, plus he was struggling with legal problems. 

The client had never engaged in individual therapy services. Once a trusting therapeutic relationship was developed, the client actively began the healing process.  

This can also be attributed to his ability to successfully engage in program expectations i.e. securing employment, housing and resolving his legal issues. 

Ultimately, the client was able to reunite with his loved ones with a better understanding and appreciation for family and community.

It is getting better

By CEO/Executive Director Laura Gray

 

Off and on since the beginning of the year, I’ve been setting up our data analysis spreadsheets for 2014. So, I thought I would share some of the trends we were able to see within our world of homeless families.

 

First, because it’s very good news, we nearly doubled the number of homeless families who left for permanent housing last year.

 

That translates to 75% leaving able to provide permanent homes for their children. Plus, 97% did not return to homelessness on the streets or shelters.

 

Less than 1/4 of the adults were employed when they entered the program in 2013. About 2/3 of those who exited were employed. Their average wages increased from $3,600 per year when they entered to $15,000 by the time they exited.

 

As you might guess, the average wage wasn’t enough to raise a family of three above the federal poverty level. Even with some form of public assistance, the average total income of $16,500 for a household was not enough to reach the poverty level of $19,530 for a family of three.

 

But, it was encouraging to see nearly 40% of our families leave above the poverty level. That’s the highest level since 2007 when 48% left above poverty. Not surprisingly, more than half of the two parent families but less than a third of the one parent families left above poverty.

 

What the data tells us is exactly what we read about the economic recovery. Things are getting better… slowly. But, it’s slower for those at the bottom of the economic ladder.

 

Intake matters: Tough choices

By Intake and Resident Specialist Holly Gardner

 

Recently I screened a family into our program. Ms. M. is a single mom with twin 15 year old teenagers, a boy and girl. She has a long list of issues that contributed to her homeless situation, but by far the most challenging was living with her ex who is a serious substance abuser. There were many low points as her relationship crumbled away, both financial and emotional. She stuck things out for as long as she could, but could no longer tolerate the impact these behaviors were having on her teens. Her daughter is a serious student and seemed to cope in healthier ways, but her son was more vulnerable. He ended up running with a bad crowd. He made some poor decisions that got him in to serious trouble.

 

Mom and the teens are more stable now.  She managed to keep her job through her trials and tribulations. Her daughter continues to thrive at school and her son is hopefully learning some hard lessons. Happily, he is physically separated from people who were not such a good influence.

 

As this mom was moving in and getting settled, she shared with me she had 2 pups, family pets that also became homeless with her.  She was lucky enough to have relatives and some friends she met through shelter who could provide them homes.  However, her luck and time had run out for her pets. Soon after she moved in here, the lady keeping her pups told her she would have to make other arrangements or take them to an animal shelter. This is what she shared with me one evening this week that got us both tearing up. These pups have been through so much, and as hard as she tried she could not get her own place in time to keep them. She had to take time off work to get her pups to the animal shelter where she met a wonderful woman who stated she would work hard to find good homes for her beloved dogs.  The dogs were very well behaved and had an excellent chance to have a new home and family.  This was the very best she could do for them, as she scaled her life back more and more to accommodate her reality.

 

These are just some of the hardships this family has endured and example of tough choices that had to be made so that this single mom could navigate her new life.  As she walked through the lobby and down the hall way to meet with her family coach, she smiled a big smile and said, "I know my pups are in a warm safe place for now, I don’t have to put anyone else out and someday I will have a home of my own again."

 

Yes, there are obvious issues our families have had to make - tough choices to help themselves move forward and meet their goals.  Sometimes these choices impact their pets, which are most definitely members of their families. This is a reminder to me sometimes we have to let go to maintain and to grow.